What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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