so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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