is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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