I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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