Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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