I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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