Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
