rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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