Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
