this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How does one acquire holy water?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
