There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
