Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
