I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
