Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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