Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
