Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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