he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
40s are totally the cure
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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