She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
