Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
