She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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