i just wanna soil my oats bro
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize