I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
