i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart