very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
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We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too