I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome