I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
