Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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