Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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