Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
