All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
