You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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