don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Even my vagina gasped.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Two words: blizzard sex
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
