u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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