The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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