no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
