I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
