Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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