Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
