That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
