Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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