i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Randomize
