Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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