It was confusing and full of hummus
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
