I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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