What a fucking waste of an outfit
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
