hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
