I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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