Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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