And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
