Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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