If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.