i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
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We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just high enough for therapy.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?