The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
