I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks