So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
