So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
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If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
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Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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