I hate your face
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
