i was born a porn star she said
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
