They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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