The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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