Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
